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author

Eliza May Brown

Blog

Blog

From the Mouths of Babes

Posted on July 18, 2019 at 10:19 PM Comments comments (1)
    My nine-year-old buddy, A, scared me silly when she said that she'd seen horrible things in a women's locker room.
    Paralyzed, I was afraid to ask for details.
    "I saw spiders," she continued, completely unaware of my reaction. "A huge nest of spiders!"
    I wish that spiders were the worst things I've ever seen in a locker room. Some things you can never unsee, and no amount of therapy will ever help....

Quotes on Kids

Posted on May 6, 2017 at 11:44 PM Comments comments (53)

Quotes on Kids:

I’m not sure what my kids did in this room, but based on the debris pattern I’d say they ritually sacrificed a chocolate doughnut.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 3, 2017

Sometimes I feel completely alone in this world.
Other times, I can’t stop to pee without a toddler coming in, and trying to brush my teeth.— JenniFerCryinOutLoud (@sip_at_home_mom) April 4, 2017

Most of being a good parent is just trying to be an average parent despite being incredibly tired.— dadpression (@Dadpression) April 4, 2017

I’ve been married to my husband for a decade & never heard him order straight whiskey at dinner until our road trip with 3 kids.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) April 3, 2017

Right there with you.

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Cleaning Impaired

Posted on November 18, 2016 at 3:14 PM Comments comments (3)
My son (16) is taking his first trembling footsteps into the adult world by laundering his own clothes. My washer/dryer is very inconveniently located in a closet in a narrow hallway in front of our only main-floor bathroom. So when Kevin dumps two or three loads of (clean!) clothes on the floor, it's messy and in the way of everybody.

"Pick it up," I told him.

He picked it up--and crammed it on top of the washer/dryer and closed the closet door. I opened the door and was nearly buried in an avalanche of clean, dirty, and not-quite-dry laundry.

Obviously, this is my fault for not clearly communicating my wishes. Perhaps if I throw away all of his clothes he'll get the message.

Sigh.

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From the Mouths of Babes

Posted on November 15, 2016 at 2:27 PM Comments comments (1)
I had my neighbor's six-year-old grandson again yesterday and he surprised me by saying, "My doctor said I can eat all the candy I want."

Could this have anything to do, I wondered, with a large stash of Halloween candy?

"I can have candy for dinner, too," he said.

Hmm. Really? "And for breakfast and lunch?" I asked him.

"Yep. The doctor said it's good for me."

"And what about vegetables?"

"No vegetables! And no pork chops and chicken!"

"What about chicken nuggets?"

"Yes chicken nuggets. And ice cream."

All I want to know is--is this doctor taking new patients?

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