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The Detroit Press, printed in The Colorado Springs Gazette:

     The danger of erecting monuments to men is that they stand on clay feet.

     Many Americans who have long been admired as geniuses or heroes are now under unforgiving scrutiny for offenses that might disqualify them for public honor.

     Few are passing muster. They were human, after all. And as the Bible tells us, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

     There are no perfect men or women. But there are individuals who have made enormous contributions to the progress of mankind despite committing offenses that by today's standards are irredeemable....

    Perhaps for some their sins are so great they are undeserving of monuments in the public square.

     That's the danger of deifying mortals. Few will be able to measure up to the expectations of future generations.

"People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right."

--J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“So, this is what it’s like to actually be doomed,” said Phil. “It was always very abstract before, but now that it’s here, you know what? It’s so much worse than I imagined. Do something, you ridiculous meat clown.”

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

"Froehlich strolled out the front door. He'd ruined just enough lives today to feel really good about the doomed direction he knew his had taken."

--The Wrong Dead Guy by Richard Kadrey

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

--Vince Rozmiarek

"You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with a smile."

--Al Capone

"My favorite was the Road Runner. I was enthralled by the coyote's irrepressible interest in experiments, which inspired me to conceive my own projects. It also taught me to separate reality from fiction because, no matter how great an idea it may seem at the time, nothing good ever came from igniting model rocket engines to my roller skates."

--from Coconut Cowboy by Tim Dorsey

Serge drove south, wearing a cheetah costume and hostage-negotiator Windbreaker, sitting next to a panda as they passed a bicyclist with dangling iguanas, looking in the rearview mirror as officers interviewed Korean salon workers, an Australian film crew, Marilyn Monroe and JFK, while a man in a camo hat ran through a dozen bodies chasing a small alligator. Serge shook his head to himself. "Life goes by way too fast when it's the same thing every day."

--from Clownfish Blues by Tim Dorsey

     "We're almost next to him," said Coleman.

     "Get ready with the bullhorn." Serge drove closer to the narrow footpath circling the water.

     Coleman giggled. "Is he going to be surprised!"

     "That's the whole point," said Surge, reaching for a knob. "This is all about unlocking inner potential." Serge cranked the volume.

     "...Eye of the tiger!..."

     "Man, did he jump," said Coleman.

     "But notice how he's moving faster?"

     "...Eye of the tiger!..."

     "He keeps glancing back at us," said Coleman. "He's running even faster now."

     "I have a gift for motivating people."

     "...Eye of the tiger!..."

     "He just left the path. Now he jumped in the lake."

     "See? He was limiting himself to just running," said Serge, "when it only took me a couple minutes to show him the possibilities of triathlons."

-- from Clownfish by Tim Dorsey

"None of the Fangs could deny it: Buster was beautiful. As he walked to the front of the stage, his evening gown ridiculously sequined, his long, blond curls bouncing with the rhythm of his confident stride, the rest of his family began to realize that he might actually win. Mrs. Fang whispered, 'He's going to do it, Annie. Your brother is going to be Little Miss Crimson Clover.' Annie watched Buster, his face paralyzed with happiness, and immediately understood that, for her brother, this was no longer about making an artistic statement. He wanted that crown."

--The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson