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author

Eliza May Brown

Blog

Blog

Good Advice

Posted on July 9, 2019 at 3:27 PM Comments comments (2)
First Date Don’ts #4 – 
Don’t start planning on the colors of the wedding and the names of your future children.

Funny Ha-ha

Posted on December 5, 2017 at 5:16 PM Comments comments (29)

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.


I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.


Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


With great power, comes great electricity bills.


If you can’t convince them, confuse them.


Violence is never the answer. It’s just a really good solution.


Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Work/Life Balance

Posted on January 16, 2017 at 11:31 AM Comments comments (5)
Today I saw a Yahoo story "The 7 Reasons Why Your Co-Workers Hate You." It turns out that gossiping and chatting are on the list! Sheesh! Both of those are on my "Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work At All" list.

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Headlines

Posted on July 25, 2016 at 10:38 PM Comments comments (0)
Have you noticed how reading a newstory after reading the headline can be anticlimactic? I just saw a headline that read "Woman uses hypnosis as a parenting tool." There is no possible way the story can be better than that headline. And I think most parents use self-hypnosis, anyway, as a coping method. That and "It's five o'clock somewhere" is how most kids survive their childhood.

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Toasted

Posted on February 23, 2015 at 6:56 PM Comments comments (15)
Quote of the day: "Toast is just soft bread that's been hurt."
 
Bad relationship? Toxic atmosphere? Did you get burned? It's nothing that a little peanut butter won't fix.

Eye Witness Accounts

Posted on February 20, 2015 at 2:56 PM Comments comments (0)
"We all think we're on the outside, that we're all alone. No one thinks that they fit in."
 
This thought-provoking quote from best-selling author Barbara Samuels says it all. It sums up our own experience as well as our characters'. What you see, what you feel, what you live, all depends on where you're standing. Where the light falls and what it illuminates depends only on your perspective.

'Cause You Had a Bad Day

Posted on February 10, 2015 at 12:04 PM Comments comments (2)
No matter how bad your day is you can be sure that somebody out there has it even worse. In fact, I just looked at a website that had twenty-five people having VERY bad days--from the sunbathing girl who got peed on by a large dog to the man running from a huge hippo--that are having a worse day than I am.
 
Now I have a mental image to help me through those bad days. Whatever's going wrong at work with me is still better than dropping the car you're supposed to fix off the car lift. A sore knee (my chronic complaint) is nothing compared to falling off a speeding skateboard and landing on your face. And that knock in my car engine is better than having my car door handle break off in my hand.
 
See? It's all a matter of perspective.

Girl's Guides

Posted on November 30, 2014 at 7:27 PM Comments comments (0)
Have you heard the latest tempest in a teapot? Obama's daughters, 13 and 16, were criticized for looking bored at the annual turkey pardon. The girls were there, not texting or playing on their phones, not arguing with each other, and not rolling their eyes at their parents. As a woman with two daughters of my own, I'd call that a wonderful day.

Holiday Spirit?

Posted on November 29, 2014 at 8:55 PM Comments comments (1)

Too Sexy

Posted on November 12, 2014 at 2:56 PM Comments comments (5)
So today I'm watching the "Sexiest Videos" on music TV. Predictably, there are a LOT of mostly-naked gorgeous women writhing around. The mostly-male singers don't even pay attention to these women, which I find incredibly disrespectful. The men aren't singing to or thinking about any one woman. There's no genuine connection between two people.

The female singers are still scantily dressed and dance very provocatively. It doesn't do anything for me. There's no mystery and no emotion involved. And isn't the emotion, the way you feel when you're falling in love, the best part?

One of the sexiest songs I've ever heard is "Dancing in the Dark" by the Boss, Bruce Springstein. His dark, husky voice and suggestive lyrics are thermonuclear. And the sexiest video has to be "One" by U2. Bono is sitting in a bar and singing of love and loss and longing, and he's singing just for to me. 

No naked people, no violence, no over-inflated egos. Raw emotion and real feeling is what sexy, not strangers and jiggling booties. Perhaps it's time for men to step down and let us women run the world.

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